Monday, May 21, 2012

Hope's Love Chapter 1

I am writing a book and I would like some reviews of the first chapter so here it is.  If you have read this on my blog before then I suggest you read it again because I have made some changes and tried to make it better.  I hope you enjoy and please post comments and tell me what you think.

Chapter 1 
    I sit back on my fuzzy purple chair thinking about
Jacob Smith. Jacob is the cutest blonde in the fifth grade.
He has brown dreamy eyes and his hair just sways to the
side so wonderfully. I have a huge crush on him. The
first day we met was in the school cafeteria when we were
ordering our lunch I accidentally tripped and fell on him.
My juice ran over his face, but he wasn’t mad. I think he
actually smiled a little.
    “Hope!” My mom calls. I don’t hear her. I am still
thinking about Jacob.
    “Hope Johnson!!” She calls again.
    I run down the stairs to my mom’s office out of breath.
“What do you need?” I ask.
    “What do you say about this?” She growls holding a slip
of paper. I walk to her desk and look at the slip. It’s my
report card. Now I understand why she is mad. I haven’t
been getting good grades in geography or math because
those are the classes that Jacob is in.
    “I guess I haven’t been getting good grades in two
subjects,” .
    Mom doesn’t take that I don’t want her to know about it. “Well, why is that?”
    “I am getting distracted a little I think,” I am hoping
that she will realize that I want to be left alone. But she
    “Well then why would you be distracted?” Mom goes on.
    “It’s just stuff at school,” I am done. Mom doesn’t say a
word. So I am thinking that this is good. I go upstairs and
    At 6:36, Mom calls, “Dinnertime!”
    Then she brings up the subject at the table. “Hope is
not getting good grades in math and geography,” Mom
tells Dad. When anything is said about grades at the
dinner table then that means something is serious.
    Kenzie, my little sister knows that so she perks up and
says, “Hope has a crush on Jacob Smith so she can’t
think straight about anything that she is doing,” Kenzie is
    I am so mad at her right now that I jump up before
anyone can comment on what Kenzie said. “Shut your
mouth you little babble head!!!” I scream. I run up to my
room and jump into bed. I start crying. Why does my
sister have to be a big mouth all the time!
    The next morning I wake up. It’s 7:03! I have to be
at school at 7:45! So I jump out of bed and get dressed.
I don’t have time to sit down and eat so I just grab a
banana, gobble it up, and go.
    The school bus arrives just in time. When I get to
school, I see him, Jacob Smith. He smiles and I smile
back. He is sooo cute!
    The bell rings so I grab my bag and head for my first
subject, geography. It’s my favorite subject except that I
can’t pay attention because of Jacob.
    I try my hardest to concentrate but I can’t help it. I start
looking at him and dreaming. I dream about sitting in
Diddy’s yogurt shop eating my favorite, cookie dough, and
sharing it with Jacob.

    My dream pops right as the second bell rings.
    Finally I can pay attention until lunch. Lunch. Lunch.
At least I don’t get a bad grade for staring at Jacob at
lunch. He sits at the table behind me.
    I have English and then Science. 
    I go to lunch after class and it is amazing! I catch Jacob talking about me to his friends. I finally start my daydream up again. 
    Where was I? Oh ya! I share cookie dough with Jacob and we
start talking.
“Hey I am so glad I get to spend time with you. I have
loved you for a long time! I have not gotten the chance to
tell you so I guess now is the best chance I had, Hope,”
He says my name so softly.
    “I love you too!” I say, staring into his brown eyes that
are more dreamier than ever. I finish my dream and find
that Jacob has caught me staring at him again.
    I have PE next. I play volleyball and he plays
basketball, but today I find out that he is using the other
half of the court for his basketball because his gym is
being repainted.
    I can't concentrate at all today in PE. 
    We have math next and I am starting to learn a little bit. But when Jacob asks a question, I look at him the rest of the period.
    We have band next and I play the flute but Jacob plays
the Saxophone so we are in separate classes.
    I get home at about 3:43. Mom is looking at me, still
thinking about last night.
    “So, tell me about this Jacob guy you have a crush on.
Is he nice? Is he cute?” She asks.
    “Yes and yes. I am going to do my homework in my
room now,” I say. I didn’t even want her to know about
Jacob. Running to my room I try to think positive. At least
Mom forgot about the grades.
    When I get to my room I don’t do my homework right
away. I cant keep on thinking positive. I just start thinking
about what my sister said last night. I am still a little mad
at her.
    While I am busy thinking, Mom knocks on my door.
“May I come in?”
    She comes in before I could answer. “I once had a
crush on a boy when I was your age. He was always on
my mind. Whenever I was around him I got this jitterbug
feeling inside me. I got low grades too. He was the cutest
boy ever. But one day I realized that he was getting in the
way of my friends and my life so I had to let him go. It hurt
me but I just had to.
    “Then God showed me that he was not a good person
by showing me when he asked me for the answers for the
test. Then I found out that he liked Josie, my best friend.”
Mom said.
    Then I asked, “Did Josie like him back?”
    “No, She thought he was prideful and he was, but I
didn’t look at him on the inside. I looked on the out which
you shouldn’t do.” I pay attention to what she says.
    “Well thanks for talking with me mom,” I say, wanting
her to leave so I could think about some things. She
leaves and shut the door.
    I started to wonder. I am looking at Jacob on the inside,
right? And I know he is a good person, right? I think
about it for a little bit, then I do my homework.
    I am called down to dinner after a little.
    I thought that we were through with the grades, but I
was wrong. Dad starts, “Hope, It’s not really a boy that is
making you get those low grades in class is it? If it is then
you better move on to a different one or none at all.” Dad
jokes a lot, but this time he was not joking. Like I said,
when grades are mentioned at the table, it is serious.
    Mom answers for me, “Honey, I talked to her about it
and she is going to think about it. It’s her problem. Let’s
not get into it.” I am thanking Mom in my head because
if it weren’t for her, then it wouldn’t be the end of the
    I love my mom. She does look like me. She has
brown hair, rosy cheeks, brown eyes, and thin lips. That
is, however, not why I like her. I like her because she
is thankful, sweet, honest, loves the Lord, and she has
taught me so many good things. There are more but I
think if I listed them all I would be out of mind-breath, if
there is a such thing.
    We eat the rest of dinner in silence.
    I go to bed and thank my mom in person for what she
    The lights are turned off and I start thinking again.
What if Jacob is getting in the way of my friends and my
life. I try to stop worrying. I have had enough thinking for
    The next morning I wake up on time to shower, get
dressed, sit at the table and eat. I go to school.
    It’s Friday so after today I have a whole two days to rest.
    Kyra, my best friend, comes up to me. “Hope,
we need to get working on our science fair project. The
science fair is 3 months after next Friday. Have you come up with the designs?” 
    The science fair is one of the biggest things to
me and Kyra, but I haven’t been able to concentrate very
well. But just well enough to get the designs done.
    “Yes, I have them right here,” I say. I pull out the
designs. We are trying to build an ice cream machine.
We are going to call it The Icer 3000. Cool name, huh?
Kyra came up with it.
    Right as I hand the designs to her, Jacob bumps into
me. My folders drop. He bends down to help me pick
up them. “Oh, I am so very sorry. I didn’t see you there.
Clumsy me,” He says. I look into his blue sparkly eyes. I
start to say ‘It’s ok. It was an accident,’ but I am of in la
la land so I don’t say anything. I just sit there like I am a
statue. Jacob leaves.
    Kyra pulls me up and says, “Girl, that was Jacob Smith,
the guy you have a crush on, and you just sat there? You
need to be more polite.”
    Kyra always gives me advice. That is one of the
reasons she is my BFF. She was the only girl that came
up to me and was nice when we first moved down here to
Jacksonville, Louisiana. I was the new girl in 1st grade.
In 3rd grade, Jacob moved here and that is when the
cafeteria accident happened. 
    I tell Kyra all my secrets including the one time that I walked in a grocery store with my dad and then came out with a totally different man who I thought was my dad. That was scary.
    When I get back from school I see Mom first. She is
working on her computer sending emails for the picnic
next Wednesday. 
    “Hi Honey. Anything new at school?” She asks me. 
    “No. Anything new for you today?” I ask back. 
    “Actually yes something very exciting. You will find
out at the dinner table tonight!”

1 comment:

  1. this is so good you will have to post the rest when you are done!!!!!!!!